Uncategorized Category

The Talk of the Town

Gossip is a lot like a visit to your local Taco Bell: it sounds great in the moment and you gobble it up eagerly. But then you get that terrible feeling in the pit of your stomach and you know you’ve done something horribly wrong. It’s almost impossible to avoid gossip no matter how hard […]

Read More

A Classic Tale of Suburban Horror: Frankendriveway

“Honey, the basement is flooded…again.” Fewer phrases can quicken a homeowner’s pulse than the dreaded flooded basement. There’s the mopping, the tearing up of carpet, the obligatory swearing, and worst of all, the call to the plumber. After administering what can only be described as a colonoscopy of our main sewer line, the plumber’s diagnosis […]

Read More

The Elf on the Shelf, Part 2

Just when I thought it was safe to relax and enjoy Christmastime, my daughter comes home from school and asks, “Mommy, why don’t we have an Elf on the Shelf?” I choke on my cocoa and look at her in disbelief. I have done everything to keep her sheltered from that homely creature but it […]

Read More

The Party of the Year

“Are you going to the annual Mulberry Trails Christmas party?” my neighbor asked me casually over the fence. Mulberry Trails is the quiet little suburb I call home and, apparently, the focus of an upcoming party. My heart beat a little quicker at the prospect of attending an actual party but then reality set in. […]

Read More

My Second Book

As a famous author, I am recognized by literally tens of people who already knew me. The fame is so relentless I can’t even walk through my own house without hearing the chants of adoring fans like, “Hey Mommy, what’s for breakfast?” and “Honey, I think the dog threw up behind the chair again.” I’m […]

Read More

Elf on the Shelf

I had a nightmare about one of those little Elf on the Shelf toys last night. It seemed one had gotten into our house and kept trying to attack my daughter so I attempted to drown it in the dog’s water dish–it wouldn’t die. I then wrestled it to the ground and tried to reason […]

Read More

To My Child’s Teacher

As the days of summer slowly came to a close, I realized the day I had been dreading was upon me—the first day of kindergarten. It’s not that I have anything against school; I love school and I know my daughter will love it too. And while I know that school is the beginning of […]

Read More

Unemployed

“So, you’re unemployed.” The words rang in my ears. I recognized each word but somehow the way that woman strung them together just didn’t make sense to me. My world froze in that moment. A routine, simple mammogram. Not my preferred way to spend a afternoon but I know it’s what is best for me […]

Read More

Married Sex

“There’s nothing good on TV. Wanna go do it?” “Ah, the four most romantic words I’ve ever heard,” I said and rolled my eyes at my husband. “So does that mean I have a chance?” he said with a suggestive lift of his eyebrows. “I can’t believe you said that,” I told him. “What? I’m […]

Read More

Tales of an Insomniac

Bedtime is a magical time. It’s when the day comes to a peaceful pause as you snuggle into your warm, cozy bed and drift away to sleep while dreaming of fluffy clouds and white sand beaches all while your brain and body get re-energized for another day of productive bliss. I read this on the […]

Read More